James 2:14-17 Luke 6:27-31

We have been talking about relationships. This is my last sermon on the subject for this series. As we complete this series, I wanted to ask you a question. What do you think is the most important relationship principle of Jesus Christ? Well, look at the title of the sermon. The title is & Treat Each Other as We Would Like to Be Treated. We call this The Golden Rule. You probably learned it sometime in Sunday School years and years ago. It is certainly simple and yet extremely hard to treat others as we would like to be treated. The Biblical paraphrase in the book called The Message records it quite interestingly. I'd like to share it with you so listen closely how this rendition of the Bible goes.

Here is a simple rule of thumb for behavior. Ask yourself what you want people to do for you. Then grab the initiative and do it for them. If you only love the loveable, do you expect a pat on the back? Run-of-the-mill sinners do that. If you only help those who help you, do you expect a medal? Garden variety sinners do that. If you only give what you hope to get out of it, do you think that is charity? The stingiest of pawn-brokers do that. I tell you, love your enemies. Help and give without expecting a return. You will never, I promise, regret it. Live out this God-created identity the way our Father lives towards us, generously and graciously, even when we are at our worst. Our Father is kind. You be kind. Don't pick on people, jump on their failures, and criticize their faults unless of course you want the same treatment. Don't condemn those who are down. That hardness can boomerang. Be easy on people. You'll find life a lot easier. Give away your life. You will find life given back. But not merely given back - given back with bonus and blessing. Giving, not getting, is the way. Generosity begets generosity.

I thought that was just an incredible way to rephrase the Golden Rule  Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Imagine this in all of your personal relationships. After all, we live our Christianity first with our families and then co-workers, maybe close relatives, and the church family members. What would it be like if we were able to live this Golden Rule most of the time? I think on one other occasion I reported to you the research that some marriage counselors did interviewing over 2,000 couples. They came up with a surprising result. They said that what kills a marriage are these four things&(1) Criticism, (2) Contempt, (3) Defensiveness and (4) Stonewalling. What builds and saves a marriage is (1) Showing interest, (2) Being affectionate, (3) Showing you care, (4) Being appreciative, (5) Showing your concern, (6) Being empathetic, (7) Being accepting, (8) Joking around, (9) Sharing your joy, and (10) Keeping all transactions with love and respect. They said it is not humanly possible to avoid the first things but it is humanly possible to create a ratio of the second group of things as 5:1. So 5:1 will make any relationship sizzle. That is pretty fascinating. If I show interest, be affectionate, show I care, be appreciative, show my concern, be empathetic, be accepting, joke around, share joy and treat my partner with love and respect, and I have that five times more often than I criticize or feel contemptuous or be defensive or be stone-walling which is the silent treatment, then I will still have a very good relationship. Now let's take that even to a further degree and say, “What if we did the same thing with our children?” “What if we did it with co-workers?” “What if we did it with members of our congregation here?” If we did unto each other as we would have them do to us, we would avoid these harmful things and we would do these helpful things. And all of our relationships would improve. So it is important to reflect on these instructions.

Rev. Tom Holiday had an interesting insight. He said, “We substitute other rules for the Golden Rule.” He says the first rule we are tempted to substitute is the Rule of Reciprocity (The Reciprocal Rule). In that frame of mind what happens is, we expect a reward. If we do a kindness, we expect other people to give a kindness back. It is the business principle that if I will “scratch your back, you will scratch my back”. You have probably heard that as a phrase used in business. We see it in politics frequently. We hear congressmen saying, “If you vote for my bill, then I will vote for your bill.” With the Reciprocal Rule, there is doing a kindness in order to get something back. But Jesus' Golden Rule is spoken in such a way that we give not expecting back. It is a bonus if we get back but we give without expecting back. And we do it simply out of the generosity of our heart.

The second thing Holiday says is that there is a rule that he would call the Ricochet Rule. He says we also substitute this for the Golden Rule at times. It is a rule where we do to others what has been done to us. Sometimes what is done to us isn't so good. It is like a rule of revenge. If you are bad to me, I'll be bad to you. If you do something hurtful to me, I'll do something hurtful to you. It is the Old Testament rule of an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. You poke me in the eye, I'll poke you in the eye. If you knock my tooth out, I'll knock your tooth out. Jesus said, “No, that's not the Golden Rule. That's not my way. I want you to exchange kindnesses. If you do unto others what you want done unto you, you are not going to poke a person's eye out because you don't want your eye poked out. You are not going to knock another person's tooth out because you don't want your tooth knocked out. The Golden Rule is a step higher in the New Testament than the rule of the Old Testament. A classic example of this Ricochet Rule is the old story (you are probably familiar with it), a man is at work. His boss yells at him. Then he comes home and is upset, so he yells at his wife. His wife absorbs this criticism and yells at the children. The children become upset and they kick the dog. The dog is now upset and it attacks the cat and the cat goes into the living room and shreds one of your pieces of furniture. That is the way the Ricochet Rule works. So that is not Jesus' way.

The last suggestion by Rev. Holiday is what he calls the Hidden Motivation Rule. He says, “Hidden Motivation is really a subtle manipulation. I'll do something for you so you will feel good and then I can get by with doing something that you are not going to approve of.” He gave the example of a member in his congregation giving his wife a gorgeous necklace  a single but expensive diamond hanging from a sterling silver chain. When she got it, she lit up and was delighted. Then he announced to her he had just bought a fishing boat for $5000! That is called the Hidden Motive Rule. It is not a good rule to follow. When we are doing unto others what we want done for us, then there is a great deal of comfort and satisfaction.

As I was researching this sermon, I came across a dramatic example of the Golden Rule on a battle field. Do you remember General Schwarzkopf? On May 27, 1970, he was in Vietnam. While he was in Vietnam, he was assigned to the Battagan Peninsula. When he arrived there, he found his troops in a great deal of disarray. They had taken heavy casualties. The first thing he did was institute methods for reducing the casualties. But while he was on the peninsula, he was looking out over the land where his soldiers were about to go when one of the soldiers led a group out there. Not very far from where he was standing, the soldier was instantly blown up because he stepped on a mine. A second soldier went out to try to save him and he too stepped on a mine and seriously damaged one of his legs. At that point, General Schwarzkopf recognized that he was looking at a mine field. The whole area in front of him was literally filled with mines and booby traps. Clearly the first man was killed, but the second man was still alive and he could tell that his leg might be saved if someone could get to him. First of all, he needed to immobilize him because the man was thrashing around, and he was very likely to trigger another mine and kill himself. So Schwarzkopf took off on foot looking down at the ground for little mounds and for prongs sticking out of the ground so he wouldn't blow himself up as he traversed through this mine field. He said in reporting later that he was so afraid that in every step he took, his own knees shook. He would have to lean down and hold his leg steady because he was so terrified. But he was doing for another what he would want done for himself. So he weaved his way through this mine field stepping carefully steadying his legs until he got to the injured soldier. He lay on top of him to immobilize him while they could get a helicopter above him, put him in a harness and pull him up and out of the mine field without setting off any other mines. What an incredible example of doing for others what you would want done for you. Wouldn't you want someone to immobilize you if you were in that situation? Wouldn't you want someone to risk their life to pull you out if you were the injured soldier? This general did this bringing his own helicopter in to create the rescue. Needless to say, this endeared him to all of his men. The morale went dramatically up and his group which had been totally in shambles became a very effective group on that peninsula.

We are not asked to do heroic things like that. We are asked to do every day things. To treat others as we would like to be treated in our every day life. We can have great examples. The example of Jesus Himself, giving His life for us is the greatest example. So we need to have sacrificial love daily where we give our lives to one another. This is something that we don't do easily. It is something to be worked on but if we gave our lives for each other, isn't that what we would like each other to do back with us? It is clear that the Golden Rule is the rule that all Christians should live by, that we do for each other as we would like done for us. We treat each other the way we would like to be treated. I want to urge you this morning to pray that you will be given the power to do that. Then take the first step which is to do!